menggamit rindu..labbaikallah

banyak yang ku ingin catatkan di laman ini..namun dengan baki kekuatan yang ada tidak ku mampu lakarkan di sini..
hampir dua bulan kutinggalkan teratak maya ini ...dalam tempoh itu juga aku diuji dengan 'nikmat' keuzuran yang berpanjangan..
ada rasa duka..ada rasa bahagia..kerana begitulah hidup ..life not always fully of roses on the bed
mungkin ada hikmahnya ...
bahagiaku melimpah bila mendapat khabar gembira dan insyaAllah dalam dua hari lagi aku dan hubby akan berangkat ke tanah suci makkah al mukarramah..doaku moga perjalanan dan ibadat kami nanti sentiasa di dalam rahmat dan redhaNya

Happy Eid to all my beloved muslims

Since i remember i always have a happy Eid al-fitr ..
back to my previous days ..when i was a young girl..my parents wake me up in the early morning..brushing my sleepiness and hurriying going to the kitchen..checking the foods and cookies which i love on the pretty table with a new cover on it..i'm very exciting because today i can eat on the day time..
then rushing going to the well and having a shower without fighting my mum who always getting trouble with my thousand manners during school days..
then..speeding up to my room and put on a new and pretty dress which i can have it only for eid celebration..because thats what my parents can pay for!
and then get ready to the mosque ..
later.. visit my neighbours and my beloved relatives with one subject 'collect the money as much as i can' ..and of course playing arround with my friends ..no mathematics..no science..no lecture from my parents..
i'm free today...hooreyyy !!!!

but now..
my concerns is no longer as childish as limited before..i'm aware the world around me..while we celebrating this occasion there are people who strive hard in struggling their life on..who face death and opression on daily basis..neighbours who are in hunger and starving with no cookies and marvelous dishes ..young kids who are have a big dreaming want a walk on the street without catching by a gun man.!!

for those who miss a spirit of celebration..i'm always praying may Allah bless you and insyaAllah one day you will have much better life...

my warmest and deepest wishes
"a happy eid al mubarak to all my beloved Muslims
and May Allah bless us in everything we do"

selamat bermusafir di bumi anbiya'

syukur ke hadrat Illahi dengan izinNya adikku sekeluarga selamat berangkat ke bumi anbiya' Jordan bagi meneruskan kembara ilmu ijazah kedoktorannya...

sebak bertandang di hati tatkala ayah berbicara ..moga dirinya dipanjangkan usia dan diizinkanNya bertemu lagi menjemput pulang anak kesayangan..
dalam pilu aku mengaminkan doa ayah..

dan doaku buat adik tersayang..
moga dipermudahkan Allah atas segala urusan ..
sabar dalam segala dugaan dan cabaran
kembali ke pangkuan ayahanda dan bonda dengan kejayaan
insyaAllah ...

ramadhan al-mubarak

sya'ban sudah hampir melabuhkan tirainya maka tersingkaplah cahaya ramadhan lagi rahmah yang dinanti-nantikan oleh umat beriman..berdebar rasa di hati tertanya-tanya sendiri..sehari lagi ku akan bertemu dengannya..bagaimanakah keadaan ku nanti ..sempatkah aku bersamanya ...apakah ramadhan ini yang terakhir buatku atau akan bertemukah lagi aku dengannya..hanya Dia yang Maha Mengetahui..
namun..doa tetap di hati moga hubbyku ..familyku..sahabat2ku..juga semua umat ini dapat meraikan ramadhan kali ini dengan penuhan rahmat lagi diberkati dan bukan yang terakhir..insyaAllah..

semalam..
sesuatu yang tidak pernahku terfikir dan terjangkau untuk kulakukan..
sungguh tiada niat di hati melukakan hati sesiapa ..
dan tidak juga aku ingin menyakiti ..
namun disebabkan maslahah semua maka aku suarakan juga walaupun pahit untuk diterima..
moga hasratku itu tidak disalah erti oleh insan-insan yang ku hormati lagi ku sanjungi..

hari ini...
sempena kedatangan ramadhan yang mulia ini...
aku dengan rasa rendah hati memohon kemaafan di atas segala salah dan khilaf yang telah kulakukan buat semua insan yang mengasihi..menyayangi..mengenali..diri ini..
moga ketenangan dan keberkatan ramadhan menjadi milik ita semua..

innalillahi wa inna ilayhi raji'un

firmanNya yang bermaksud: apabila datang ajal mereka tidak dilambatkan walau sesaat dan tidak dipercepatkan ....

berita pemergian vokalis rabbani yang tak akan kembali lagi kuterima dengan hati yang sebak dan pilu..hanya doaku panjatkan moga dia dirahmatiNya di alam sana..

masih jelas di ingatan kenangan bersama rakan2ku ketika di maktab mahmud dan di univ suatu waktu dulu..nada murni dan the zikr merupakan our favorite nasyid group ..lagu2nya sentiasa mengiringi kami ketika mengadakan rihlah ataupun khemah ibadat..kami bersama2 mengalunkan zikir munajat bersama suara emas allahyarham..liriknya bukan sahaja sedap didengar tetapi bait2nya juga menyentuh hati dan membentuk peribadi indah
pernah juga aku berdikit2 mengumpul duit kerana berhajatkan koleksi nasyid allahyarham..

..ketetapan yang pasti..
kita semua akan pergi..
pergi yang tak akan kembali..
hanya Dia yang pasti bila kita akan pergi..

......al-Fatihah........

somewhere in june

so often in my struggle to live at ease with myself I have been frightened to look within and know my true self..
...i always have thought myself such a worthless person instead of reverencing myself, faults and virtues..

because of Allah wills it...
the sheer beauty of this month of June helps heal any unhappiness that I feel...
it really does..
it comes in perfect days..chambery..lyon..heathrow..jakarta..kuching..kuala terengganu..
kids, honey and I have been in a beauty month..
being a part somewhere
and the next day ..
together like a flock of birds..

oh..what is so amazing as a day in june..
my heart is so full that a drop overfills it..
raining snowing drop from the sky
raining snowing drop into the ground
i count 1..2..3..wet and smile

its really does
oh..it comes in perfect day..
..thanks to You..the Most Greatness..the Most Merciful
this enough for us now that leaves are green..

birthday wishes from someone special..

titipan kasih darinya buatku

Dear sweetheart....

" Your birthday card
has to be different
It has to be one
that says...

"You're one of
the most special people in my life..."

Sayangku ,Umie..
moga..bertambahnya usiamu dan kita sekeluarga
maka bertambahlah kasih sayang
kita semua
bersama selamanya

Umie...
This is from my heart
to wish you
a birthday filled
with wishes come true.

Di hari yang indah ini,
abang ucapkan dengan penuh rasa sayang dan rindu..

"Happy Birthday and You Mean Everything to Me"

"May Allah bless you and our family, always"

Salam sayang
ikhlas buat
isteriku...
abang
july2009

lovely wishes ..on 4thJuly

...setulus kasih bersama doa kupanjatkan mengiringi hening pagi 4th July 2009..
alhamdulillah dengan izinNya ..
hari ini aku melewati lagi usia kelana di bumiNya..moga ketaqwaan dan keimananku bertambah seiring dengan bertambahnya usiaku..
doaku juga moga perjalanan yang kulalui dahulu tidak sia- sia di sisiNya..
aku berdoa lagi ..moga hari-hari yang akan kutempuhi nanti sentiasa di dalam rahmat dan redhaNya..
tidak ku lupa..moga kebahagiaan aku bersama suami tercinta dan anak-anak tersayang kekal ..bahagia..tenang dan indah hingga akhir hayatku..
seterusnya ..doa tulus kupanjatkan buat kedua ayahanda dan bonda yang telah melahir ..mendidik ..dan tanpa jemu mengirim doa buatku..moga mereka sentiasa di dalam lindungan yang Maha Esa..
doaku juga buat semua insan yang menyayangi dan mengasihi diri ini sebagai adik..kakak..menantu..anak murid..sahabat dan teman..moga kalian juga sentiasa didalam rahmatNya..
..amin ya rabb..

chamberry..camping..

yesterday..today..and for a few days after tomorrow..
i really miss them...
i miss my honey..
i miss my sweet hearts..
i miss their voice..
i miss their laughing..
i miss their smiling..
i miss their hugging..

..dearest honey..
how are you down there..
being a far part.. keep me thinking about you..
how is it in Chamberry..
how is your presentation..
how is your trip..from Lyon to tiny city..
emm...wondering you in a small town in France..
do you have a great time being there..
praying for you..may Allah showering you with his bless always..

..dearest sweet hearts..
English camp take you from me away..
i know..the trip is what are you waiting since we've being here..
its very hard to let you go ..
but i realize sometimes you need some space for you to see the world ..
as you told me that you need to observe the earth with your deep heart..
you want to be a good khalif as you always recite in assembly morning..
lastly but not least ..as i 've always remind you in everything you do ..
remember Allah always in your side..
and..mama and papa always be in your heart..
wish you have fun and joy with your team..

limpahan syukur..

tak mampu ku catatkan di sini ..
namun semalam yang ditinggalkan tidakkan kulupakan sepanjang hayatku..

segalanya berlaku begitu pantas..ia meluncur laju di depan aku dan suamiku..
bersama bunyi dentuman-dentuman yang begitu kuat ..terus ku berkata..abang..anak kita bang..dan yang terlintas di kepalaku saat itu hanyalah berdoa..doaku tanpa putus..
ya Allah selamatkanlah anak2 ku..ya Allah selamatkanlah anak-anakku..
saat suamiku berlari pantas ..sedang aku terasa lemah dan tak bermaya untuk bergerak..
perlahan-lahan ku menapak ke sana ...
Alhamdulillah ..alhamdulillah..alhamdulillah..subhanallah
hanya itu yang mampu kulafazkan sambil memeluk mereka
syukur pada mu ya Allah kerana menyelamatkan anak-anakku dari tragedi tersebut....

remarks..

what should i write here..
do you have some ideas for me..
ohh malasnya nak tulis..
bercampur dengan kebizian yang tak pernah abis...
nantilah bila aku rajin, aku tulislah
sambil2 tu layanlah bryan adam's song ni
layannnn

happy mother's day

special wishes from my heart

...to my beloved mum..

and

..to all the mothers in the world

my mum is a biggest gifted from Allah to me..
she is my best friend ..
she may keep my secret..
her kindness and caring ..
her love and sharing..is deeper than ocean..

when I fall she help me up and get me on my way again
sometimes we laugh and cry..
sometimes I lied to her
sometimes I hiding my honest..because of some reason
but she never give up..
and indeed..I never need to beg my mother's love..

mum...this is for you the one who I love far more than the words can say..
I will love you forever and ever ..
there is none in the world I could trade you ..
I love you so much

kembali bertemu

ikatan ukhuwah kembali dierat..
..aku dipertemukan kembali dengan sahabat2ku naha dan seri yang baru balik diperantauan..pertemuan di airport walau seketika cuma..terubat juga rinduku pada rakan2..
moga ada lagi pertemuan bersama rakan2ku yang lain yang akan balik bercuti nanti..insyaAllah

sebelum keindahan itu berlalu..

stress is something happens to you... as an employee..as a mother..
or as a wife..we can't avoid or run away,
but you can..you learn how to manage your time..you activities or your personal life..

sometimes..we have to say 'no' to unpractical activities, not passionate of or have no energy for..
take your respect time for your self..or feeling less..or laughing or smiling for your self..you have to..

before it's gone..observe it with your heart..might be something you never expecting..
greeny leaves with joyful cheers..
oranges sunset in a smiling girl..
waving kids to the ice cream man..
walking clouds towards the north..
running frogs hiding behind the grass..
leaking tab and dropping out of the roof
how wonderful your life..be bearable before its gone

happy birthday to my beloved honey

emm how sweet today...
this is special entry dedicated for my dearest honey..
for the past 12 years..we have celebrated my hubby's birthday without fail..
sometimes with a party..sometimes with just a dinner..and all the times with our beloved kids..though with slice of cakes
what ever occasion or anyplace to be ..he always happy together with us
he is not or might not millionaire..
but his heart has a million kindness and love..
and loving me and kids with unconditional love ..

dearest honey..
i wish you happy wonderful birthday
may Allah s.w.t bless you in everything or every way you do..insyaAllah
doaku juga moga kebahagiaan kita dirahmatiNya selamanya
thinking of your lovely ways reminds me that you are the one I'll love forever and ever..

happy belated birthday

I completely forgot all about it until this morning ..
and i know its a bit late but i hope you had a wonderful birthday on buziest day in Lampeter before back to hometown..
i wanted to take a picture of flowers..but everything is not what i've planned..
so..just a lovely wishes from me..happy belated birthday to one of my dearest friends
doaku moga hidup seri sekeluarga sentiasa di dalam kerahmatan dan keberkatan Illahi hendaknya..
and i wish you.. may all your dreams comes true..insyaAllah

a picture of a thousands words_dedicated to my dearie wife

tag from sis..zue

my lecture will be finish this week..the next day and so on adalah study week for all students uni..
.. lecture notes and tutorial in SPIN needs to uploading
..an assigment stay on the table..
.. articles keep in file..
..research smiling at me
..generik system running after me
..mqa courses waving to me
everything on my head..keep buzy on me..
emm..bilakan kebizian ini akan berakhir..when should i put pen down...?

thanks for my sis zue..yang sudi remarks 'tag' to me ..its about my beloved honey..what should i state without him beside me at the moment..

1. He's sitting in front of the TV, what is on the screen?
somethimes happen is tv watching him..no such passionate about this kind of technology
2. You're out to eat; what kind of dressing does he get on his salad?
mayyonaise sometimes
3. What's one food he doesn't like?
I've no idea about this because he love the foods very much
4. You go out to eat and have a drink. What does he order?
warm carrot juice with milk and USA / ladna fried rice .
5. Where did he go to high school?
St. Paul School
6. What size shoe does he wear?
7...indeed
7. If he was to collect anything, what would it be?
Sport and IT gadget...definitely
8. What is his favorite type of sandwich?
Donner kebab and hawaiian pizza
9. What would this person eat every day if he could?
plain rice with anchovy...i guess so
10. What is his favorite cereal?
when we've been in uk, chocolate rice was one of his sets of choice..
11. What would he never wear?
my baju kurung..
12. What is his favorite sports team?
France and Spain
13. Who did he vote for?
emm wait a minute ..who is it???
14. Who is his best friend?
me and his kids
15. What is something you do that he wishes you wouldn't do?
emotional and sensitive without knowing why and the cause of..
16. What is his heritage?
I've never asked my parents in law..should i concerned about this
17. What is his favorite color?
Its depends on occasion he has..
18. What is his habit?
banyak..yang mana satu yea..
19. What is he proud of?
Islam is his religion
His late father..
20. Lastly, do you think he will read this?
yes..indeed..

revisit kota bharu

hujung minggu yang lalu aku and hubby ditugaskan mengajar di kb..
actually aku n hubby dah lama benar teringin nak berkunjung ke kb ..almost 10 years since we've been there..banyak yang dah berubah rupanya..
malam pertama kami menginap di renaisance hotel..tak berapa jauh dari tempat mengajar..tapi agak jauh juga dari town..kalau nak shopping kat town kena ambil cab/taxi..so untuk hari kedua kami decide tukar hotel yang betul2 kat dalam city..namanya hotel raudhah..emm..terkedu gak aku..yea lah dari 5 stars pindah ke 2 stars..can you imagine..terima jelah..yang pentingnya bila2 masa je aku boleh turun shopping..inilah masanya aku nak spend duit gaji hubby..kwang..kwang

yang paling best..bila honey belanja dinner kat halal chinese restaurant ..sebelum ni memang aku tak pernah pergi mana2 chinese restaurant..aku tak yakin kehalalannya..tapi yang ini memang kami dah survey dan sah halalnya..kami order set for 2-3 person ..dengan 4 courses and fruits kami boleh dapatkan dengan price rm 53...memang murah..dahlah tu foods n dishesnya very tasty and delicious..

okeyla..next time aku sambung lagi citer ni..my boss calling me ..ada kejelah tu..

May all good things be yours

aku nak citer sikit kisah dihujung minggu yang lalu..tanggal 15th March
keluarga kami menerima kehadiran ahli baru.. actually pak lang aku yang dapat menantu lelaki..
majlis walimah telah diadakan di markas tarbiyah..kawasan parlimen pokok sena( kawasan Dato' mahfuz)
meriah sungguh kenduri pak lang kali ini..jemputannya dianggarkan seramai 16 ribu ..kabarnya paklang invite semua pengundi kawasannya tak kira orang pas, pkr atau bn semuanya dijemput hadir..sultan dan sultanah kedah pun turut mencemar duli..
mb dan exco2 negeri kedahpun turut hadir..aku tak lepas peluang bergambar bersama..tapi bila aku nak masukkan dalam teratak ni ..asyik failure je..

thousand congratulations aku ucapkan for my beloved cousin (chaq) on her wedding day
the greatest gift you'll ever get
is love forever..ending never..everlasting love....
your dreams comes true..
May Allah bless both of you

salam maulid Rasulullah s.a.w

Salam Maulid Rasul to everyone..

Alhamdulillah..we've made it to 12 Rabi' al-Awwal...

allahuma salli ala sayyidina muhammad..wa 'ala wa sahbihi wasallim..

I was going to a dedicate poem to my beloved Prophet on his birthday.. but because of my piotic abilities ' a bit crunchy' right now..

i just wondering..why the most commemorate in celebrating his maulid by singging nasyid, qasidah and praising him..someone would ask me..why? is it something wrong..?and i would say yeah..there is nothing wrong with it..but is that our prophet want form us..?
and for me..for myself..
i believe that there is most important and the best way.. we should care about it..
for me ..
we have to constantly fear and obedience to Allah s.w.t..this is what he want from us..
i also believe
we have to implement his sunnah into our own lives..
in all aspects..
in all parts..

He loves you more than himself
Love him more than yourself
May Allah bless you

sports day

on the 7 march yang lalu telah diadakan acara sports /tournament sekolah seri ayesha..tempat anak2ku menuntut ilmu..
it was held at mpkj stadium..bermula jam 7 pagi..

syahmie terpilih untuk events 100 and 200 meters (running), kamilia pula for 100m (running) and 50 m (walk), aiman 50 m(running) and 50m (walk)..
anak2 ku begitu teruja sekali..esp. si aiman yang biasanya agak susah dikejutkan bagun awal pagi tapi hari ni awal2 pagi dah bangun..nak pergi tournament..

alhamdulillah...mereka memenangi kesemua acara yang disertai..rupa2nya ketiga2 mereka berbakat ..
shahmie mendapat 2 medal bronze, kamilia pula 2 silver medals dan aiman 2 gold medals
Allah saja yang tahu perasaanku ketika itu bila melihat anak2 tersayang di atas podium menerima pingat masing2..

perasaan belas di hatiku bila mereka berbisik sesama sendiri '' i wish papa would be here"..rupa2nya walaupun happy namun jauh dilubuk hati mereka terkenangkan papanya yang tak dapat bersama hari ini..

a lifetime of loving ..caring and sharing

..wishes card from my dearest honey sempena our wedding annv...sudah lama terperap di atas meja studyku...ingin sekali kuletakkan di teratak maya ini..sayangnya kerana tuntutan kerja tiada ruang buat diri.. dan alhamdulillah hari ini..aku diberi kesempatan olehNya..

katanya...
marriage is like a garden..with love and tender attention
it will flourish with abundant beauty
it is a test of love when years come and go..and we make each morning as though it were the first..each day begins fresh and new knowing
we'll be spending together me and you
..miss you always

..happy anniversary my dearest love

begitu pantas masa berlalu..dalam kesibukan mengejar itu dan ini..dan dalam sedar rupa2nya ikatan cintaku dan hubby menjangkau ke usia 12...emm what's amazing life..

my dearest love..
for you, alhamdulillah ..
i thank Allah
for His al-Rahman and al-Rahim..

Abang..salam ku hulur buat menyapa cinta hatimu nan luhur..
aku hanyalah seorang isteri yang menerima setulus hati seorang suami..
janji yang dimeterai di akad nikah kita musim yang lalu..
Abang..bersamalah kita harungi onak dan duri..
jua derita dan bahagia yang datang..
bersamalah kita tempuhi hikmah dan nikmat yang bertandang
my dearest honey..
you have given me hope, inspiration and truth..
and because of you, i feel never-ending youth
it's remarkable how wonderful you make me feel
My love...
denai perkahwinan kita terkadang dihujani dan disulami titisan airmata..
kerana itulah nikmatnya ikatan kita..
pun jua..biar kita rasa rupanya telaga kauthar itu sangat tinggi maharnya
abang....
the life we have shared this past year..
has proved forever it shall persevere
i will love you forever in every way until my dying day..
because..
my roses love not faded
insyaAllah

wish you...

"happy 12th anniversary teristimewa buat honey tersayang..
we are together..you and me"

..yang hilang

innalillahiwainna ilaihi raji'un..
hanya itu yang mampu kuucapkan tatkala mendengar berita terkini dari sahabatku..
rupanya ia bukannya mimpi lagi tapi ia realiti yang amat menyakitkan..
jauh di sudut hati menangis sendu..meratap pilu..mengapa ini yang berlaku..
tidak disangka pilihan rakyat diketepikan demi agenda yang tidak pasti.
...demi sebuah kuasa rakyat dihina dengan 'terhormat'..
berbahagialah kamu atas kesedihan kami..
mungkin sampai di sini mungkin juga kita bisa bertemu lagi
hanya Dia yang Maha Mengetahui..

camna ni..

emm..kenapa yea..dah beberapa kali aku cuba upload photo tapi memanjang asyik failure je..
apa yang tak kene ..akupun tak tahu..
kebetulan lak hari ni je yang aku free ..so aku ingat nak updatekan my teratak maya ni tapi apa kan daya..yang dirancang tak menjadi

'back to space'

jadual harianku telah berubah kerana school break dah berakhir begitu juga semester break bagi student

minggu2 yang lepas ..minggu ini dan seterusnya adalah perjalanan harianku yang memenatkan..
registration for my kids at Seri Ayesha School..memasukkan SMPK..lecture notes preparation for SPIN..ISO..permurnian kursus dalaman...emm semuanya perlu dibuat ASSAP..benar2 memenatkan..

diuji dengan pelbagai karenah student..
hari ini aku diduga dengan karenah seorang pelajar BA yang membuat LI dibawah penyeliaanku..tanpa topic dan tanpa persediaan..datang dengan 'tangan kosong' ..benar2 membuatkan ku teruji..perasaan marahku hingga tahap maksimum tak mampu kuluahkan..bimbang nanti dia menangis pula..aku tertanya sendiri apakah ini sikap bakal graduan uni..

akhirnya i've make some coffee..i need a little rest..itulah hakikatnya 'when you back to space'..

river of tears

tak terungkap rasa di hati..
benci..geram..marah..sedih..hiba..dan pilu menusuk kalbu
melihat kezaliman dan kekejaman Israel ke atas saudara2ku di Palestine
saudara2ku itu dibunuh tanpa belas
ya Allah..apa dayaku..apa harus kulakukan ..
ya Allah bantulah hambaMu yang tidak berdosa itu..kasihanilah mereka..

Down by the river of tears
she the mother kneeled
and grasped the dirt between her hands
Then planted a flag of peace
Her heart wrenched with fear
when remembering her indelible dreams

She the mother grasped
Frantically her last child

...Rocks... gunfire...bloodshed
Tombs filled with children...

She looked up to the sky
and wished to be with her children

...Then remembering her last child
Gazed desperately into the Horizon
and shouted a piercing sentence

Stop killing our children
stop killing our children

(by Laila Yaghi)

salam ma'al hijrah

salam ma'al hijrah kuucapkan buat semua muslimin dan muslimat..

doaku moga Allah s.w.t merahmati dan memberkati perjalanan kita yang lalu..
..moga tahun ini Allah s.w.t mengurniakan yang terbaik buat semua hambaNya..
doaku juga moga Dia melindungi umatNya yang ditindas dan dizalimi..
..moga Dia merahmati para mujahid agamaNya
juga aku mohon Dia musnahkan dan leraikan ikatan perjanjian musuh2Nya yang sentiasa menzalimi umat Islam..

Ameen ya Rahman
Ameen ya Raheem