season of shadows without ends

ingin kurakamkan di sini kenangan di minggu2 awal bertamu seterusnya bergelar perantau..
it's extremely hard time but it was a challenged to me and my hubby ..how to carry on our live di bumi bertuah ini..

it's like the sea, relentless
wave after wave of bad words and curse..'go home paki..'
their teenage eyes full of hate..false histories
every fact read in the pages of 'the sun'
a blur of fiction and malice
spoon fed this poison for centuries
every word punctures my heart like a bullet
i'm estranged, alien..separate from all this in limbo belonging nowhere
anger fizzing in my belly like volcanic rock
my throat tense and dry
no more tears left to cry
every muscle contracted
my whole world dark and black
polluted with rage..sadness and ignorance
i'm defeated but not at war
each insidious incident scars my soul hardens my heart
makes it numb as cold stone
unbendable..broken..explored like my dreams
the spring flower suffocated by eternal snow
this season of shadows without end..

pesanan junjungan menjadi pegangan
sebagai azimat buat diri..

fear Allah wherever you are
and
follow up a bad deed with a good one
and
it will wipe it out
and
behave well towards people...